Why the Left isn't Right, Part Deux

Pardon me, liberal, I'd like to ask you some questions...

What is your complaint against conservatives?  Is it that conservatives are all white fat cats?  Well how about Thomas Sowell, who I mention frequently on this blog?  He's very black.  He looks black and sounds black.  He was raised in Harlem, graduated magna cum laude at Harvard, started out as a Marxist, and is now one of the greatest minds on the conservative side.  Liberal, how do you answer for supporters of your side such as Warren Buffet and George Soros?  They are pretty darn rich and white.

But conservatives hate the poor, you say.  Do they?  Why do you say that?  Because they hate the idea of bringing down the successful in order to support failure?  Because they don't like to punish the hard working people that are responsible for coming up with the businesses and ideas that offer employment to the poor?  How do you answer for the fact that studies show that conservatives give more of their own hard earned money to charity than liberals do?  Even if that study weren't true, why don't you hear about liberals donating more of their money in taxes if they trust the government so much?  Social justice, helping the poor, equality?  Those are things the liberal stands for!  Yeah, right...  You wish that is what people believed.  You want to give other people's money and other people's time, not your own.  Pretty smart really.  If more people do your work for you then you don't have to.

Maybe you hate conservative talk radio for being so popular.  Maybe more people would listen to liberal programming if it actually said something.  Better yet, something true.  Only a real liberal can take up a full hour to talk and wind up saying nothing at all.  Why don't any of your show hosts appear to work to educate themselves beyond what is on the New York Times bestseller list or Oprah's book club?

Maybe you can't stand that conservatives don't use the F-word in every blog post or don't make fun of Bush's southern twang enough.  Maybe "F Bush" just isn't that powerful of an argument anymore.  Let's not forget that we are war-mongering.  Yes, because it is much better to wait until a Muslim terrorist has his foot on your nuts in your own home than to take the fight to his country.

So come on, give me a reason.  You have your heroes.  Let's see them.  Do you hate conservatives for...I don't know...freeing the slaves (thank you Abe Lincoln) or maybe being strong on defense in a world with radical nuke seeking miscreants, or Bush's unsung contributions to Africa?  Have we just not done enough?

Why do you hate us?  Is it because we think you should have a baby even though you didn't want to?  Do  you hate that life is more important than your selfish nature?  Have you forgoten the answer to unwanted pregnancy is love?  Do you just hate responsibility so much that you'd rather justify taking an innocent life without a trial and fight to free a murderer from capital punishment?

Are you mad that conservatives prefer logic over raw emotion?  Do you wish that feeling something really made it true?  Did you know that if you wish in one hand and crap in the other, only one hand has something in it?  Are you mad that conservatives like to ask "why", that annoying little three letter word that you do such a good job of avoiding?

As for the bumper sticker that says "Jesus is a liberal"...well folks, if that were true, he would have chosen to avoid the cross, be aborted in the womb, and come back as a gay, pot smoking, narcisist.  In other words, he would have come back as Barney Frank.