Scientific Nobel Prize

In honor of the ignominious anniversary of the blog. I would like to take a moment to rectify a wrong. When the Nobel Prizes were awarded this year, you noticed, of course, that the American media were not among them. Why is this, when the American media have managed the greatest scientific discovery of our time, the Hills Singularity? We all know about black holes, singularities of immense gravitational power that can bend light itself. But who, I ask you, could have imagined that MTV would create a singularity so powerful that not even rational thought can escape? This incredible discovery is named in honor of that weird TV show where teeny-boppers just kind of awkwardly stare at each other for extended periods of time. I can only assume that they stare at each other without dialogue of any kind because the actors of the show are victims of the same singularity they helped to create, and their rational thought is being sucked out their tear ducts while the cameras are rolling. Bravo, American Media. I can only hope that your pioneering scientific spirit can continue to extend beyond the realms of our universe into other dimensions where logic, reason, and morality continue to carry a weight of importance that approximates that of a half-eaten cheese puff. You, American Media, are the reason that the terms "morning" and "mourning" are indistinguishable in spoken communication. Your epic fail is only eclipsed by the Russian Navy's ability to generate massive and well-recorded light shows with their failed sea-launched missiles. Next week - we discuss the topic of "subtlety". Until then, remember, if you're not cheating, you're not trying...